Tuesday

True to form after a holiday long weekend and after the Monday groans have been replaced with reality, I mildly existentially spiral.

Why do I do what I do? Why do I live here? Do I want to stay here?

These and a host of other questions about my potential Critical Life Errors fuel my unease that’s occasionally interrupted with flights of panic. Because, welcome to being a millennial, I guess. Trying to be productive at work by slotting in panic on our own time.

I bolster my anxieties by cruising LinkedIn for a few minutes. Perhaps more than any other social media site, LinkedIn has my number. There may as well be a Clippy in the corner parroting all the ways in which I could and should Do Better.

I scroll and read shorter posts about topics I haven’t been bothered to think about or can’t be bothered to write about, assigning Betterness Points to the bobbleheads who have actually invested effort. It doesn’t matter whether that’s not my area of expertise or that I don’t have a LinkedIn content schtick, they’re better than I (see, you really do gain a better appreciation for the stupidity of your thoughts when you write them out!).

Eventually I’ll get into actual profiles where I’ll hopscotch from one person to the next, contemplating all of the poor decisions I’ve made (rarely the good ones, ofc) and where else I could have been (that’s better, ofc).

Clearly I’ve traded my research degree for a law degree with all this cherrypicking of information. But the stories of my missteps are compelling, especially when I’m having a bad day and would like to confirm my sad sack status.

Others are almost certainly looking at my profile thinking the same if they’re also checking factual rigor at the door. We all tell stories.

But we need to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves, ensuring that we’re giving air time to all parties. Obviously, I’m seeing only a fraction of who These People are on LinkedIn.

But also, the same information can be seen in endless different ways; the guy who I (thought I) went on a (great) first date with who Casper the unfriendly ghosted, the driver I cut off but actually didn’t see in the first place, the presidential election (lol). Even if you’re riding in the same car as someone, headed to the same place, you’re looking out different windows.

Look out a different window. Tell a different story. Get the eff off of LinkedIn.